How many ways can you express how cold it is?
It's so cold that even the property taxes are frozen.
"It's so cold my implants are frozen!"
Its so cold that the words came out of our mouth in chunks of ice and we had to fry them to see what we said ...
"It's so cold that when I woke up this morning, I couldn't get my teeth to stop chattering. It was such a struggle, believe me, to put them in my mouth."
"It's so cold that my pipes froze. Not just my windpipe, but also my tailpipe."
It's so cold that I actually feel like listening to Rush Limbaugh. That's how desperate I am for some hot air."
"It's so cold that I found a burglar stuck to my front window. It turns out that my neighbor had spotted the burglar, pulled out a gun, and said, 'Freeze!' And he did!"
It's cold enough to freeze the nuts off a brass monkey.
It's so cold, the snowman came in to warm up.
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A nun and a priest get stopped by a snowstorm and have to spend the night together in an abandoned way station until the storm passes. After settling in to bed, the nun says: "It's so cold, I don't know if I'll be able to sleep." So the priest gets up and gets her another blanket and goes back to his bed. After a few more minutes, the nun again says in a shivering voice: "It's so cold in here!" Once again the father gets up and puts another blanket over her then goes back to his bed. After a little while more, the nun says: "Father, its still soo cold in here!" At this point the priest replies: "Sister, in order to make it through the night, we may have to act like husband and wife."
"Oh really, father?" the nun replies with a note of wonder in her voice.
"Yes, sister. Would you be willing to live like husband and wife for just this one night so we can make it until the morning?"
"Yes," she replied shyly.
"Okay then," says the priest. "Get up and get your own damn blanket!"
What's an ig?
A: A snow house without a loo!
It's sooo cold outside we thought Grandpa had grown a goatee - but it turned out to be just an icicle of frozen drool.
Its so cold roosters are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
Its so cold we had to chop up the piano for firewood - but we only got two chords
....a curious husband says to his wife, "Why are you washing the clothes in TIDE" "Because it's too damn cold out TIDE" (compliments to Benny Hill)
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